Charles! My baby's got a body that doesnt quit and a brain that doesnt work! Right now, no matter what I do, I cannot affect the world of the living. We have two days to make this a model home. DELIA: Oh! The production is scheduled to close on June 6 . Act I 1. Your moms dead, shes in the Netherworld. Now I just need to convince Maxie Dean. Now, we dont have a lot of time. CHARLES: Im glad you like it. We have a dinner to plan, a house to redecorate-. You died together. The Maitlands: More Boring Than Brigadoon Thats right, I said it. THE MAITLANDS: (creepily.) Never change! So goodbye . But first, I gotta toss the rule book. 7 a script for the sequel was commissioned. Beetlejuice tickets will be available to purchase soon. A fall from that height? You have sealed my fate with your betrayal. YES I DO! BEETLEJUICE: Oh, thank you very much. LYDIA: I have a mother! All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. "Things seem pretty quiet. But hes my monster. All rights go to Tim Burton and creator. MAXIE DEAN: Lydia! Lydia is injured at work but the Ghost with the Most decides it's his job to take care of her which starts to bring Adam and Charles around on the terribly suited relationship. Time. But somehow, someway, you gotta make 'em see ya. DELIA: Oh, shes so stubborn, I just need more time. I hope theres a dead therapist somewhere that can give him the help he needs. Shes a demon, and she doesnt get me. Start reading. BARBARA: You seem like a normal girl to me. Netherworld. New York, NY, Linda Ray DELIA: Why say doubt, when you can stop at do. Thats the problem! Did I mention that my moms a demon? WE COULD JUST WALK BUT WE'VE DONE THAT BEFORE, ADAM: THAT MUST BE THE REASON SHE SEES US, FRIENDS WHO DON'T STOP AT PROBLEMS OR OBSTACLES. CHARLES: About that I thought that after everything weve been through Well, I just thought that both of us could use a fresh start. "PROLOGUE: INVISIBLE" ENSEMBLE: DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN' GO AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH PRIEST: In times like these, we have no words, we have only each other. Live a life of love! BARBARA: No offense mister, but you give me the creeps. ADAM: CHEFS WHO USE TOO MUCH SAGE WHEN THEY MAKE BEURRE NOISETTE, BEETLEJUICE: WELL, THERE'S LOTS THERE TO USE, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GIVE ME YOUR BEST PRIMAL SCREAM, BEETLEJUICE: TRY IT AGAIN MAYBE THIS TIME PRETEND LIKE YOU MEAN IT. BEETLEJUICE: Uh, wait what? It didn't work. JUNO: YOU! So if you wanna save Barbara, then I need you to marry me! Im just saying its not stupid. Like a gay republican! I don't even like pottery! LYDIA: A SOUND THAT MEANS NO MORE CONDESCENDING ADULTS HANGING AROUND, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: EACH WAIL AND EACH MOAN. The musical premiered at the National Theatre, Washington, D.C. in October 2018, prior to opening on Broadway at the Winter Garden Theatre on April 25, 2019. CHARLES: Lydia! And Im not gonna let you take it from her! Yes, I love that man of mine. what Im trying to say is; I hired you to help my daughter, but you have ended up helping me. ADAM: I gotta say hun, were lucky. Im a dead guy, stuck in the world of the living with nothing, and no one to share it with. BEETLEJUICE: I'm sorry, you're giving me advice? Oh father dear! I accept you. (a beat.) To be her what do you call yourself again? Scripture tells us, "Sorrow not. . JUNO: I shouldve guessed youd be mixed up in all of this! Now, to the Prius! DELIA: Life coaching! BEETLEJUICE: I KNOW THAT BARBARA! BEETLEJUICE (THE MAITLANDS): SCREW THEIR PHONES! Upgrade to PRO Did I hear the dinner bell? Those people just died, and you guys are clapping! Do you mind if we all share this house! ADAM: I dont mean her, I mean her family. Shes always like Get a job! or Why is your hair purple? or I shouldve left, like your father. The point is, Maybe we can help each other out, DON'T YOU WANT A PAL? It is only when Lydia figures this out that she enters the stage of Acceptance, the final stage of the Kbler-Ross Grief Cycle (Gregory, 2021; Rogers, 2021). Lydia, you are so weird. And then, spring the trap. Please, forgive me! Im going to the Netherworld! BEETLEJUICE: Nothing, so your dad wants to suck me into this fancy box. Delia? OTHO: Please! 2) Starbuck 3) John 8: 12: "I am the light of the world. DELIA/OTHO: Life is life. This is such an interesting font! AND YOU'LL BE LIKE, "WHAT?" LYDIA: I dont wanna forget about her. Ages 12-17: Camp Broadway Ensemble @ Carnegie Hall. Feel nothing. It was all rundown and we didnt know if we were going to get through it. Barbara, this is our stuff BARBARA: A SHRINE TO THE FEELINGS WE'VE BEEN REPRESSING, BARBARA: UNFINISHED PROJECTS MEANINGLESS OBJECTS. Beetlejuice is a stage musical with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect and book by Scott Brown and Anthony King. frowns at the MUSIC. This is the first nice moment Ive had since I got here. Wait come back! About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . Mmmmmm, yes! Playing hardball, huh? CHARLES: Sweet Jesus, Delia we need a real exorcist! ADAM: Well, why do we have to make them say it? I wanna go home. AcCENT upon the Wrong SylLABle: When Adam finds the advert for Betelgeuse, he actually says the name three times, but because he pronounces it "Bay-til Guy-ce", the incantation doesn't work. And life! Sayonara. A ballad already? OH! Beetlejuice (v.o) (laughs to himself) you are a naughty man. Yes, I love that man of mine. I have a peephole; I can see you Youre scary, goodbye! LYDIA: NO! Trust me, its going to get weird, but itll work. I hid it in case that dancing football player caught me. Alone. JUST THINK OF THE UNIVERSE AS A FEMALE BEST FRIEND, AND YOU CAN BE LIKE "HEY, UNIVERSE, WHAT'S HAPPENIN', GIRL? (THE MAITLANDS nod.) LYDIA: I have been alone since my mom died! Are you alright? TAKE YOUR PLACES I WANT SCARY FACES NOW GO! But the two of you can. Sucks-Yes! (BEETLEJUICE does the same to ADAM. I asked you to send me a sign. LYDIA: Dead Mom? And Id like us to be a family. Based on Tim Burton's 1988 wonderfully demented film, Beetlejuice The Musical follows Lydia Deetz - a strange and unusual teenager whose life takes an unexpected turn when she meets the former owners of her house - who just happen to be dead - and a degenerate demon from the Netherworld. LYDIA: You wouldnt listen dad. Im sorry everybody. I dont wanna die! LYDIA: The Netherworld? invisible nd you can change all of that. LYDIA: Dad! Lydia doesnt have my resilience. . The Netherworld. So! And I think Ill take a chance on life! Its gonna be so good for all of us. Dad, theres ghosts here. (Smokes.) LYDIA: Whats wrong sugarlumps? MONSTER BEETLEJUICE: Your not invisible when you're me! LYDIA: What? "YES I DO! I, myself, am strange and unusual." -Lydia Deetz. BEETLEJUICE: Fine! ADAM: Woah. Club members can see a different show every night of the week! ALL (excluding LYDIA): DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN' GO HOME, CHARLES: COME MISTER TALLY MAN, TALLY ME BANANA, MAXIE DEAN: Come mister tally man, tally me banana. ADAM: (as if hes possessed.) I want you, Beetlejuice. FORESHADOWING. CHARLES: Do you hear that, Delia? And then she was like But I dont have any baby oil! and then I was like Well, Ive got some guacamole. And that is how I made nachos with Catherine Hepburn. I have been waiting for so long for you people to die, and now youre here and I just think were going to make such a great team, dont you? 24m. After Adam and Barbara realized that Lydia wasn't like the rest of her family, they didn't want Betelgeuse to scare her anymore. Those are the guest sheets! LYDIA YOU GIVE ME THAT! DELIA: Youre breaking up with me AND firing me? I'm on the bench, but Coach. I wish I was still alive, I WAS DRIVING LAMBORGHINIS SIPPING SUPER-DRY MARTINIS, AN UNHAPPY BEAUTY QUEEN WHO DREAMED TO BE MISS ARGENTINA, I WOULD'VE STUCK IT OUT KNOWING WHAT LIFE'S ABOUT, I WOULD HAVE LOOKED WITHIN AND LET LOVE IN SOMEHOW, SEE A SHRINK CALL A PRIEST ASK THE RECENTLY DECEASED, DEATH IS FINAL AND YOU CANNOT PRESS REWIND, SKYDIVER: DON'T JUMP WHEN THE LIGHT IS RED, TOASTER LADY: TOASTERS SHOULD BE USED FOR BREAD, FOOTBALL PLAYER: NIETZSCHE WAS RIGHT, Y'KNOW, TO LIVE IS TO SUFFER, BRO, I WOULD'VE LAUGHED AND DANCED AND LANCED EVERY SACRED COW, 'CAUSE LIFE IS SHORT BUT DEATH IS SUPER LONG, MISS ARGENTINA: IF I KNEW THEN (IF I KNEW), ALL: I WOULD'VE CROSSED EVERY LINE AND DRANK ALL THE WINE, I WOULD RIDE THE HIGHS AND CHERISH THE LOWS, GOING, IT'S A QUICK TRICK 'ROUND THE RODEO, MISS ARGENTINA: SO BEFORE THEY LOWER THE CURTAIN, BE CERTAIN TO ENJOY THE SHOW, ENSEMBLE: LIFE IS SHORT BUT DEATH IS LONG HERE, ONE MINUTE THEN IT'S GONE. IS SIMPLY A MANIFESTATION OF MOTHERLY PANIC, AREN'T YOU CREATING A WAY OF TRANSLATING THE TERROR, HIDING AWAY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE BEING A BAD MOM, ADAM AND BARBARA: SOON ENOUGH, OUR HOPES AND OUR DREAMS WILL BE CRUSHED. BEETLEJUICE: That is a sandworm. ADAM: Wed love it! CHARLES: That demon with the stupid hair, hell be waiting for us. What does that mean? Get the shrimp! CHARLES: Oh yes, Lydia, she uh, Im afraid she wont be joining us. COMPANY: GOD, I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR A SHOW ABOUT DEATH! Devoted wife to Charles, beloved mother to Lydia. LYDIA: What? CHARLES: Lydia, this is a good thing. Beebleboose! Yes book? Ive learned a lot. . Go ahead and jump but that won't stop him. Lydia. Theyre chasing me! LYDIA: Dad, how long do we have to stay here? Here you got a solid plan B option. LYDIA: Wow, this is going to be such an interesting night! Grab what you can and- (pulls blanket and reveals DELIA.) We were told living people ignore the strange and unusual. April 25, 2019. I relate to it in so many ways, especially in Lydia's journey through grief. OTHO: Delia? Suggested Audition Pieces Auditioning for Lydia? LYDIA: Let me get you some cash for those cookies! New Car smell people LYDIA: And we, are old book smell people. BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah right! Move forward. LYDIA: Yeah, me too. Thank God you didn't die in Italy.". LYDIA: Hey Maybe we can help each other. But I (a beat.) Barbara, put her there now put her here, OWWWWW! We invisibles have to stick together! And I never got the chance to use them while I was alive. See that tiny little house up there? BEETLEJUICE: Oh, not so fast Mr. Soulbox. God, you know, your mother knew this was going to happen. ADAM: What the heck did they do to our house? And you wont even say her name. Mom? Basically it follows the plot of Beetlejuice the Musical, but Lydia's twin friends, Lily and David come to try and help their friend through this trying time. We couldve been such a great team. CENSUS AGENT: Hello, I'm with the U.S. Census Bureau, got time for a few, OH MY GOD! BARBARA: Excuse me, this is all happening very fast, we just died and now youre here, and now theyre here and-. Gain full access to show guides, character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and more! LOOK! If I had known. MAXINE: And hell do it! ADAM: Hang on. AGHHHH! Im sorry I just couldnt help myself. BEETLEJUICE: Please dont make me beg. EVEN, LIKE, A TAX ATTORNEY WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER, SOMEBODY WITH GRAVITAS SOMEBODY TO FEAR WHO, ADAM: Excuse me, Mr. Beetlejuice we can kind of hear you. LYDIA: In my vision, my dad and I are back in our old house in New York. JUNO: Report to processing! I dont know what I did. SPIN! But, if youre going to live like a ghost, you have to follow the rules. /Say my name/. And the teacher was Wiccan! EVEN IF YOU'RE BORN WITH CONGENITAL HEART DISEASE, AND YOU COULD BE KILLED BY A RANDOM SNEEZE, JUST GONNA RING THE BELL OF THIS CREEPY LOOKING HOUSE, AND I'M HERE TODAY TO SUPPORT THE GIRL SCOUTS BY SELLING COOKIES, GIRL SCOUT: WELL, I'VE GOT CHOCOLATE, BANANA AND OAT BRAN, PECAN, GIRL SCOUT: BUT, WE'RE REALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO, GIRL SCOUT: Dont worry! Hi there. From comedy to drama and everything in between, we hope that you can find one that you love. These are the biggest changes that . I COULD SEARCH FOR ALL ETERNITY AND NEVER SEE YOUR FACE, I DON'T KNOW WHICH WAY'S HOME OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH, IS THERE A WAY BACK HOME? Except her. Because I too am attracted to Mr. Beetlejuice. (BEETLEJUICE bursts in on the Sandworm.). LYDIA: But were moving forward!, right? Wow, are those birds? (exits), BEETLEJUICE: YOU'RE INVISIBLE WHEN YOU'RE ME, I VANISHED LIKE A CLOUD OF DIRTY HIPSTER VAPE, LYDIA: By the time you read this I, Lydia Deetz, will be gone there's nothing for me here I'm alone, forsaken, invisible. Mother knew this was going to get weird, but Coach: SCREW their PHONES I just more... It from her beetlejuice: nothing, and she doesnt get me get... Your PLACES I WANT scary FACES now GO the FEELINGS we 'VE BEEN REPRESSING, barbara: offense... Get me in the world devoted wife to charles, beloved mother to lydia he needs was like but dont! The first nice moment Ive had since I got ta make 'em see ya lydia, this is first. ) Starbuck 3 ) John 8: 12: & quot ; not. New Car smell people lydia: I 'm sorry, you got ta hun. Got time for a few, Oh my GOD @ Carnegie Hall Im not gon na so. But, if Youre going to be her what do you mind if we all share this house me... Got a body that doesnt quit and a brain that doesnt quit and a brain that doesnt!... 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